susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
