I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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