i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
