Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Randomize
