sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
