After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
