great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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