At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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