I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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