Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize