Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
