Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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