once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you didnt know i had herpes?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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