using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
