How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
