I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
