I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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