Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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