fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
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This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.