dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
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Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.