And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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