Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
