god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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