I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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