She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
