In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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