Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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