Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
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Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
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There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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