mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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