I feel great
I just peed on a car
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
