I feel like abortions should bother me more
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
