you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
