we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I am one with the molecules
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
