he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
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The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
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I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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