do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
