Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Randomize
