im about as happy as oj after his trial
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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