She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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