even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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