I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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