Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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