I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
