I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize