It's Friday. Sex?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize