I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
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Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
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IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Congratulations! We have a period
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