i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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