That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
