why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
