So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
