A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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