I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
