I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
