I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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