Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
