He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
