I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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