I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
