my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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