I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
