Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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