in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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