we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
