I'm really into asian looking animals
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
