Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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