no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
