Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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