I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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